Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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