do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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