I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize