we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize