8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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