She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize