Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
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Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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