My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Randomize