Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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