Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's blow job season.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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