I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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