It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
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You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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