allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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