I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I think I just sharted jello shots
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