I'm lost and stupid without you.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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