the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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