What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize