Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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