Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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