Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
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We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
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This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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