Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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