Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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