My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize