but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
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his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
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I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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