I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
So squirting runs in the family.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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