meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize