i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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