im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize