mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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