The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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