My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize