His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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