So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
