I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize