the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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