I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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