yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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