called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
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I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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