You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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