You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
it's like iHOP with fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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