So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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