so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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