I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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