C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
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The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
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He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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