someone owes me an orgasm
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize