My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
then he tried to convert me to islam
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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