I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize