i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Randomize