Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize