I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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