So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize